...and all the sorrow of
For Silver_and_Jade_Tears
Published on April 23, 2008 By trekkerguy In Just Hanging Out

Once were lost these pieces of me, but she brought them all together and her I found.
Now, thrown against the wall I shatter into splinters and chips of all I had found in her.
All the other halves of these pieces were inside her all along.
And there they remain as I lie here among the trash.

This is who I am. A martyr, a loser, garbage to all I love. I used to choose this. Now it is forced upon me.
She tells me I will find someone, she also knows I won't.
Even if everything we were was lost to her and the love for me is gone...
I still feel all that we are and all that we could be. I know she is the only one and I will accept no less than her.
This is our distinction. I know what I found in her and would never foresake it
for someone less, for a love that isn't, for a life with no fire. She is the fire in my life
She is all that makes me whole. She is the epitome of beauty in my eyes.
She is the full spectrum of joy and happiness when I lay there next to her.
She can fool herself, lie to herself and make herself believe I will find another.

This is a feat impossible.
Would she find another that loves her with a passion like mine?
Would she find another that would complete her the way I did?
Would she find another that would give their life for her if she merely asked?
Would she find another who would truly... without exception, love and accept
every single aspect of her being and her mind and her feelings?
Would she find someone who would truly and wholy took the time and effort to
show they cared in everyway, not just sometimes or when it is convenient?
Would she find another who... actualy... truly loved her?
I think she knows the answers to all of these.

In like manner, I will never find another that could complete me.
I will never find another who pleases me to the highest degrees.
I will never find another I so desire to taste her blood as it flows across her body.
I will never find another I could share all the deepest parts of my beings with.
I will never find another who's beauty alone makes me thirst for her.
I will never find another who could possibly understand what is inside me, for
she is the only one who ever could.
I will never find another whos touch calm every nerve that racks with agony
when seperated from her.
I will never find another who needs me as much as she does.
I will never find another I need as much as I need her.
I will never find another I could ever love.

I will not lie to myself.

And so I am left, cold and alone, sitting next to the rubble she threw me against...
fumbling for the shattered pieces of me that are all around me and I can't seem to make fit without her...
the other half... God, if there is a God... if it is possible you could exist...
I need her so much...
I'm falling away...


Comments
No one has commented on this article. Be the first!